he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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