Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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