The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
