i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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