My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
