After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
