Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
