just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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