I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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