i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
