You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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