Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
