I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize