I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
