i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he wants to bone in the snuggie
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
