I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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