I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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