So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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