And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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