Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
