he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
