The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
