I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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