Porn is love you can see.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
