This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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