Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize