I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
