that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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