They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!