sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜