he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
