i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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