You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
