I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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