so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
