forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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