We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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