so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
