I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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