he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
