I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
be right there i have to get my cape
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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