All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
