I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
