my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she told me i tasted like america
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
