Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
