She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
