is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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