I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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