I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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