you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
