Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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