3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
