He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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