It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
