Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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