I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the condom got lost in my hair
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
