fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
