In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
