and i looked up. we had an audience...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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