Already got asked if we're dating
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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