my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
