Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
